“We are what we choose to believe we are”
From the time we were born and all through our lives, you may have been operating within the limits of our self-image. And your self-image becomes your real self. Your identity.
Eventually , your self-image becomes your comfort zone and where you feel safe, secure and protected. But a comfort zone can also be a negative space. You can feel safe and secure in prison, but would you really want to stay there?
Many people, perhaps you, too, choose to stay in the prison of self-image, self-beliefs and self-talk. This prison comes from your mind. It’s not a brick and mortar, but rather a prison of the mind.
I want to talk about how you can change that. And this can apply to anyone…anyone can live with limiting beliefs that hold them back from an authentic and actualized life. But, also, anyone, maybe you, can change these beliefs. As soon as you decide to change, you have the freedom to choose and to enjoy empowering beliefs and behaviors.
It’s like the story of the gnats in the jar. It goes like this. Once upon a time, a gnat lived in a jar. The jar had a lid on it. The gnat wanted to get out of the jar but obviously couldn’t open the lid. She jumped and jumped and jumped but couldn’t ever get out. After many years, the owner of the jar removed the lid so that he could use it on another jar. The gnat was now free to leave the jar. But she had been limited from getting out of the jar for so very long, that she continued to jump, but only to the level of the lid, never leaving the jar. She didn’t know she could leave now, yet she didn’t believe she could, so never tried, she never found her freedom.
And the story about the cows that grazed in the farmer’s field. At the side of the field there was a fence, so the cows could never get out of the current field to be able to graze on the other side of the fence. After much time in their field, the farmer decided to rearrange his grazing land and removed the fence. And the cows, once interested in a new field that would give them richer grass and better grazing, would walk up to where the fence used be, and never cross into the new field. Even though it was there available to them.
Today I want to give you the key to getting rid of those limiting beliefs.
Let’s start with the empty suitcase story …
Once you have a suitcase you can find clothes to pack in it, right? Everything that has been said to you, about you, becomes a piece of clothing. Everything that has been done to you becomes a clothing reference for you to put into the suitcase.
All the references that you can find in your life become the clothes to pack. Soon, you have a very strong and very full suitcase. The more clothes (references) that you cram into the suitcase (which represents your beliefs), the more certain you become about your belief (which is your life.)
And your beliefs become stronger over time as you hold on to these beliefs, because they make you feel safe. Even if they are negative.
This way of thinking becomes a never-ending cycle.
But you can change all of that with the right thinking.
First: Identify your own limiting beliefs. For example, you may believe, “I am too old”. “I am too young.” I don’t have enough education.” “I’m too fat.” Listen to the things you feel are true about you. Think of these in the context of situations that make you feel helpless, unsure, inadequate, lacking in confidence.
Now select just one of these limiting beliefs. Find all the references that support it. The clothes in your suitcase. Find as many references as you can and list them all.
Here is where the fun begins. Decide to believe something different. This should be the opposite view. For example, if you had the limiting belief that, “I am bad at remembering names, “ just decide that from now on, your belief will be, “I am good at remembering names.”
Once you have created a sentence that states your new positive belief you can repeat it over and over again. This constant repetition will enhance your self- image.
You’ll need to repeat this over and over. It doesn’t happen overnight. But it will certainly enhance your life by speaking, imaging and focusing on this new self-talk.
And your positive sentences must contain three essential components. Make them personal by using the word “I.” Make them in the present tense by using the word “am.” Include a positive description such as, “ I am a great singer.”
Other examples:
- I am happy
- I am a great letter writer
- I am good at cooking
- I am happy in my job
- I am a calm person
- I am an athlete
The last step to this exercise is to write down three positive statements about yourself. They do not need to be true just yet, they are statements that you would like to be true and could become true. Again, be sure to use the present tense, as if they were already true.
Replace your old voice with your new voice even if it is not yet true.
See, feel and experience the rewards of your new belief. Your new voice.
You really do have a voice. You can give up and carry on reinforcing your old limiting beliefs or you can play your new, empowering sentence and work on changing your beliefs.
What do your limiting beliefs look like? How many limited beliefs do you hold on to for security and safety?
I suggest you start with a simple one, work through the exercises with positive and opposite statements, visualize living the new statement and override the old negative statement with the new one whenever it appears.
Reference: The Life Coaching Handbook, Cindy Martin.