I’ve been thinking a lot lately about commitments. I think it might be because recently I had to take a look at my responsibilities in a relationship and it worried me. The connection is essential to me, and I needed to stand up for it. But at the risk of losing a dear friend as I did so.
I worried about it for a long time, not knowing exactly how to solve the problem. How can I keep my first commitment and not lose a friendship?
Years ago, I learned that when there is a problem to solve, the best thing to do is tell the truth. It is better to speak directly about my feelings and know that if you other person gets mad, it will be their decision to react. No matter the outcome, I know that I expressed my feelings honestly.
And that whole problem was resolved by expressing myself honestly.
So it got me thinking about commitments.
How do you keep going when you’ve made a promise, committed to your family, job, friends, and future? How do you continue when you feel like throwing your hands up in the air and giving in to that voice in your head that says, “This is too hard” or “I don’t want to do this anymore?”
Whatever the size of the commitment, barriers show up that can get you stuck. Challenges, negative emotions that include feelings of defeat or incompetence, can come along at any time. Yet, people who successfully navigate the barriers to their goals and dreams know that every emotion they feel will not stop them but will guide them to positive feelings for staying on course.
Feelings of discouragement and defeat can hold you back, and negative emotions can hold you hostage if you’re not prepared for them and don’t know how to override them through perseverance and steadfastness because they are essential to you. And you committed.
Commitments are robust because they influence how you think, how you sound, and how you act. Unlike a half-hearted hope or ‘best shot,’ making a commitment means that you try harder, look for solutions when faced with obstacles, don’t consider quitting as an option, and don’t look back.
If you can keep commitments to yourself, you are more likely to hold others to the same standards. You won’t tolerate people in your life who continuously blow you off because you know how important it is to stand by your word. You’ll be less likely to let other people mistreat you since you know your name is valuable.
Think of at least one major accomplishment in your life that has really made you proud of yourself. Now, think of the initial commitment you made when you got started.
On a scale of 1-10, how committed were you? Were you very dedicated or simply desiring something? There’s a vast difference between the two. When you simply wish something, you do it only when circumstances permit. When you’re committed, you accept no excuses, only results.
A Commitment is a Pledge to Yourself
A commitment is a binding pledge that obligates you to assume a position or carry out a course of action. Making a commitment to what you do—whether in your personal life or professional life—is one of the most fundamental success principles.
Commitments are robust because they influence how you think, how you sound, and how you act. Making a commitment means that you try harder, look for solutions when faced with obstacles, and don’t consider quitting as an option, and you don’t look back.
Also, a meaningful commitment gives you a script for how to handle things when times get tough. And make no mistake, everyone feels like quitting at one time or another. Unfortunately, most people stopped when they feel like quitting, so they seldom succeed at anything.
Over Committing
One of the keys to fulfilling your commitments is to not over commit. The number of opportunities and decisions we’re faced with daily increases all the time. This is why it’s so important to be selective about what and who you commit to. Given the limits of your time and attention, it’s simply not feasible to do everything you would like. Therefore, you must decide what is truly important to you and commit only to those things.
When you only commit to the people and things that are truly important to you, your relationships will improve, you will be more successful in achieving your goals, and you’ll have more time to enjoy your journey.
When It’s Time to Stop
We must also recognize that often time commitments have limitations. There is a difference between making excuses for not honoring a commitment you’ve made and knowing that something just isn’t working, despite your best efforts. Making a call in the thick of things that your responsibility isn’t really that important after all may be true (in some cases), but it may just be a cop-out. Perhaps, a sudden shift in priorities could be a signal that it’s time to call it quits, or it could be that your resolve is slipping, and you need to reinforce it.