Women understand the value of relationships. We know the fulfillment of a good relationship can bring to ourselves and to others. We have casual relationships that feed our need for socialization and friendships. A relationship can be nourished by meeting a friend for lunch or working on a project together, or simply listening and giving feedback when you just need to talk. And in these times, our relationships are more important than ever as we guide our world during COVID.
Yet there are also relationships of intention — deliberate relationships focusing on long time passions, improving our lives, or setting goals for a new stage in life. The power of a connection with a purpose can bring expectations and accountability to help you reach a goal or strive for a dream. I’m talking about the relationship with a mentor.
Here’s a quick story about Susan. She found her mentor when she decided to go back to school to get her nursing degree. Susan left her dream of a nursing career behind when her marriage ended up in divorce in the middle of her second year in college. You see, Susan started pursuing her dream once her husband’s career was in full swing at the law firm. And that would be, of course, right after their two children started school and not before her elderly parents were settled securely in a retirement home. All were essential parts of making her life complete. All were gifts to herself and others that are part of who she is and part of her family’s passion.
But when it came time for Susan to focus on goals left in the dust, her personal and professional goals formulated out of girlhood dreams, she needed help getting started. A mentoring relationship was the right answer for her. Susan sought out other women in her church and her community who could encourage her to take the steps necessary to reach her nursing education dream. They were women who knew that relationships with intention, the mentoring relationship, can be a powerful catalyst for setting and achieving goals.
Susan was encouraged to put one foot in front of the other and prioritize her commitments to herself and others. And what she learned from the mentor relationship was the importance of consistent conversations and resources that helped her formulate her next steps. Once Susan made headway, she saw a path that would work for her next steps and came to the conclusion that a coach should be What’s Next for her to establish her future.
Coaching is also mentoring. The words are used interchangeably. Some believe a mentor provides an overall support system while the coach focuses on specific goals and creates a clear path to get there. It’s more about what you’re seeking and what the energy is between you and your potential coach and mentor.
Either way, mentoring and coaching are powerful opportunities for insight and development for your future dreams, goals, and guidance.
So what about you? How do you begin? Are you looking toward some changes but could use some guidance and direction? Here are a few steps to get started.
- Think about why you might need a mentor. How could a mentor help you achieve your goals? Make a list of what you would want to achieve and what you would be willing to give yourself. This relationship is a commitment- are you ready to make that commitment?
- Ask friends and colleagues about any referrals to a mentor. Research online. Take advantage of complimentary sessions to see if you and the mentor are a good fit. You’ll know what kind of energy feels right to you. And the mentor will know that, too.
- Be sure to ask questions. What are the expectations, costs, lengths of meetings? Will the mentor hold you accountable? Is the mentor available outside of the regular session? How would you and the mentor evaluate the relationship on an ongoing basis?
- Remember, the responsibility is yours. The mentor is a facilitator, a guide, a coach, a resource. The final decision and commitment to reach your goal is up to you. Goals with Your action plan is set. And your new life unfolds before you.