Are You Seeking Love and Belonging?
When I was a little girl, my family moved around a lot. My Dad was building his career, which meant several jobs and moving from town to town. So as a result, I changed schools during my elementary years.
I can still see visions of me entering a new classroom in the middle of the year, hearing the teacher say, “Children, we have a new girl in our class today. Say hello to Linda.” It was scary for a little girl to make these changes every year. So when I was older, I asked my mother to write down all the schools and towns we lived in over the years. As it turns out, by the time I was 14, I had attended 15 schools.
As I moved into adulthood, I joked about how many times I changed schools and followed up by telling my friends that that’s how I got so good at making friends at a cocktail party!
And as my life moved forward, which included several boyfriends, then several husbands, I kept creating change. But, I was still the little girl in the different job, the other house, the new career, and finding new friends.
In my 40s, I realized the searching I was using. I realized I was trying to fit in. I realized I was creating the beginnings and endings of the love and the belonging I sought.
It was what I knew.
The change I persisted in my life was because I didn’t know where I belonged.
I had created a life of not belonging.
Love and belonging are essential to our lives. If we want to experience love and belonging fully, we must believe that we are worthy of love and belonging. I realized that I was still the little girl looking for love.
When we can let go of what other people think and own our story, we gain access to our worthiness-the feeling that we are enough just as we are and worthy of love and belonging, according to Brenee Brown. And now me. Because I get it.
How do you understand what it takes for you to feel worthy and thus belong and loved? And what do you think it takes for you to be respected?
Here’s a list of a few requirements I felt I needed.
I am worthy when I lose 10 pounds.
I am worthy when I stop drinking wine.
I am worthy when people like me and invite me to parties.
I am worthy when I have enough money in the bank.
I am worthy when I have a big home.
I am worthy when my children make good grades.
I am worthy when my husband tells me he loves me every day.
I am worthy when I am authentic and live on my terms.
I am worthy when I help others.
What is on your list?
What are your prerequisites to bring you love, from others?
How do you put them aside?
What list would you make that comes from the inside? The list that helps your inner worth and continues your authenticity and self-love?